Wednesday, February 01, 2006

What's to Come In 2006

My many years in publishing have given me unparalleled insight into the creative professional industries. Because I want you, dear creativeprose readers, to benefit from this heightened perception, I hereby present my can't-miss predictions for 2006:
In a move that media commentators deem "inevitable," Pantone and clothing manufacturer Benetton merge. The new company declares that its color formula swatch books will now come in cotton, linen, and wool.

Wacom releases the Footiq, a graphics tablet optimized for the foot. The Footiq's ad campaign slogans include "Double your productivity," "Two limbs are better than one," and "Put your foot down!" Sales of sandals soar.

The digital photography world is set on its ear when the best-selling pro camera turns out to be a Holga with a 22-megapixel digital camera back. The Holga lens, however, remains plastic.

Continued fears of Microsoft dominance prompt Adobe to merge with Eberhard Faber. CEO Bruce Chizen remarks, "Adobe's position in the pencil market is now solid."

Quark becomes the first company to carve its logo on the Moon. Critics immediately attack the carving as a rip-off of the Sea of Tranquillity.

Scandal erupts in the type world when Hugh Hefner accepts an invitation to speak at the annual ATypI conference, while a confused Jonathan Hoefler attends a party at the Playboy mansion. Flustered aides later explain that the mix-up is not their fault because "Hefner" and "Hoefler" sound so much alike.

Camera flashes at a press event in which Canon and Nikon announce their upcoming merger enrage rabidly partisan fans, who go on a rampage throughout New York that doesn't end until circling airplanes drop thousands of free lens covers.

Terri Stone, editor in chief

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